Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours, Lord

by Julie Brooks

It is not difficult to feel broken a lot when you are struggling with the loss of a child and trying to take every opportunity to save another child during his struggle with Bipolar disorder. There are days when our youngest son says, "I just want to go to heaven to be with Carson."

In that moment, my heart sinks, and an irrational thought goes through my mind, "Why should I ask our son to stay on earth and endure the gut wrenching pain and uncertainty of this erratic illness called Bipolar?"

But, then I hear a calming whisper from the Lord, "Just go with me on this journey, and I will teach you how to help your son and the others that share your journey with their love ones, suffering with mental illness."

I know that the Lord's track record is 100% in keeping His promises, so I go with His lead. I will trust the Lord to care for our son minute by minute, and to show me how I can be His instrument by using my heart to be broken for what breaks His.

Since Carson took his life and went to be with the Lord, it is not hard to have a broken heart. Day by day, the Lord is putting the pieces of my heart back together; the pieces don't fit together nice and neat because they have been scattered. But, the heart He is putting back together for me will be so much stronger, because He is building me a new one, piece by piece and day by day!

Lord, I pray this day for your continued guidance in this journey. Please awaken Christians to be willing to open their hearts to see those suffering with mental illness.  Give them a desire to educate themselves and take your lead to bring understanding and support where there is none! Amen.

Please visit http://www.bpchildren.org/ for website resources, links and books.